Thoughts To Live By…

Archive for the ‘Laws’ Category

Even the dead have to follow environmental standards.

Expressing concern about the potential pollution and danger posed by waste from facilities catering to the dead, the Department of Environment and Natural Resources (DENR) is now requiring crematoria, cemeteries and funeral parlors to secure an   environmental compliance certificate (ECC) from the government.

“Crematoria involve the burning process. Funeral parlors make use of formaldehyde. So because of the hazardousness of wastes coming from these establishments, we have amended the AO to upgrade the classification of these business establishments and require an environmental impact statement,” Atienza pointed out.  Full Story

Motel ‘short time’ stays, says SC. Motels in Manila and their patrons have reason to celebrate two weeks before Valentine’s Day. The Supreme Court yesterday declared as unconstitutional a Manila city ordinance banning “short time” admission in motels, saying it violates the rights of both motel operators and their clients – especially married couples.   Full Story

They’re surprising. They’re baffling. And, often, they’re downright stupid. These laws about sex and sexuality defy explanation.

  • In London, it’s illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle.
  • In Tibet, many years ago, the law required all women prostitute themselves. This was seen as a way to gain sexual experience prior to marriage.
  • “Female breasts,” according to the Arizona Supreme Court, don’t constitute “private parts” under state law.
  • The Asiatic Huns punished convicted male rapists and adulterers with castration. Female adulterers were merely cut in two.
  • The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.
  • The T’ang Dynasty Empress Wu Hu passed a special law concerning oral sex. She felt that a woman pleasuring a man represented the supremacy of the male over the female. Therefore, she insisted all visiting male dignitaries show their respect by pleasuring her orally when meeting. The empress would throw open her robe and her guest would kneel before her and kiss her genitals.
  • In London, it’s illegal to have sex on a parked motorcycle.
  • There is, in fact, an Illinois law that prohibits a number of things—one of which is a public erection, another is nude dancing. The prohibition against the public erection has never been challenged in the Supreme Court, but the prohibition against nude dancing has.
  • In 100 A.D., the Teutons, an Germanic tribe, would punish anyone caught as a prostitute by suffocating them in excrement.
  • The vow of a Roman vestal virgin lasted 30 years. If she engaged in sex before then, she was punished by being buried alive.
  • In 17th century Spain, it was illegal for anyone other than a woman’s husband to see her bare feet. A woman could freely expose her breasts, but feet were considered sexual and had to be covered in the presence of men other than her husband.
  • The Romans would crush a first-time rapist’s gonads between two stones.
  • In China, women are prohibited from walking around a hotel room in the nude. A woman may be naked only while in the bathroom.
  • The early Christian church forbade couples from having sex on Wednesdays, Fridays and of course, Sundays.
  • In Pompeii, a special law was directed at prostitutes. They had to dye their hair either blue, red or yellow in order to be able to work.
  • In Indiana, mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a “tendency to habitually kiss other humans.”
  • Six thousand years ago, Egyptians, the first to punish sex crimes with castration, would completely castrate a male convicted of rape. A women found guilty of adultery would find herself without a nose, the thinking being that without a nose, it would be harder to find someone to share in her adulterous ways.
  • Up until 1884, a woman could be sent to prison for denying a husband sex.
  • In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception—prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only “in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.”
  • While not as extreme as the ancient Israelite punishment for adultery (stoning), Greek men still had their fair share of discomfort when their pubic hair was removed and a large radish was shoved up their rectum.
  • In Alabama, it’s against the law for a man to seduce “a chaste woman by means of temptation, deception, arts, flattery or a promise of marriage.”
  • In Nepal, Bangladesh and Macao it is against the law to view movies containing simulated lovemaking or the pubic area of men and women. The law also does not allow kisses to be shown in any film that includes actors from these three countries.
  • It’s illegal to have sex with a corpse anywhere in the United States.
  • An 18th century French prostitute could be spared punishment if she were willing to join the opera

1. The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.

2. Nothing improves with age.

3. No matter how many times you’ve had it, if it’s offered take it, because it’ll never be quite the same again.

4. Sex has no calories.

5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

7. Sex appeal is 50% what you’ve got and 50% what people think you’ve got.

8. No sex with anyone in the same office.

9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.

10. A man in the house is worth two in the street.

11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

12. Virginity can be cured.

13. When a man’s wife learns to understand him, she usually stops listening to him.

14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.

15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a man are usually the same ones she can’t stand years later.

16. Sex is dirty only if it’s done right.

17. It is always the wrong time of month.

18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.

19. When the lights are out, all women are beautiful.

20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won’t either.

21. Sow your wild oats on Saturday night — Then on Sunday pray for crop failure.

22. The younger the better.

23. The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.

24. It was not the apple on the tree but the pair on the ground that caused the trouble in the garden.

25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the ugly.

27. Before you find your handsome prince, you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs.

28. There may be some things better than sex, and some things worse than sex. But there is nothing exactly like it.

29. Love your neighbor, but don’t get caught.

30. Love is a hole in the heart.

31. If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stands on the moon.

32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a matter of physics.

33. Do it only with the best.

34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some old-fashioned four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.

36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by impregnating nine women.

37. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

38. It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

39. Thou shalt not commit adultery…..unless in the mood.

40. Never lie down with a woman who’s got more troubles than you.

41. Abstain from wine, women, and song; mostly song.

42. Never argue with a women when she’s tired — or rested.

43. A woman never forgets the men she could have had; a man, the women he couldn’t.

44. What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.

45. It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

46. Never say no.

47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn’t love her.

48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all jumps.

49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the bone.

50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.

51. A man is only a man, but a good bicycle is a ride.

52. Love comes in spurts.

53. The world does not revolve on an axis.

54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation; the other eight are unimportant.

55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.

56. Don’t do it if you can’t keep it up.

57. There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.

58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.

59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.

60. “This won’t hurt, I promise,”


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