Thoughts To Live By…

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A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.

The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, ‘Here Lies My Wife – Cold As Ever'”

“Yeah” she replies, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, ‘Here Lies My Husband -Stiff At Last'”

Picture: http://www.killsometime.com

What’s the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68 and 78?

At 8 – You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 – You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 – You don’t need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 – She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 – You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 – You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 – If you take her to bed, that’ll be a story.
At 78 – You can get out of bed, that’s another story.

Interesting Article: Six Strange Teachings of Evolution

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl ‘Will you marry me?’

The girl said: ‘NO!’

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, traveled more, had many lovers, didn’t save money, and had all the hot water to herself. She went to the theater, never watched sports, never wore friggin’ lacy lingerie that went up her ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked fabulous in sweat pants and was pleasant all the time.

Source: www. thehumourarchives.com

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art.

When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle, while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.

About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door  A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.

He said, “Sir, you don’t know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety, when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly.  He often talked about you, and your love for art.” The young man held out this package. “I know this isn’t much. I’m not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.”

The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. “Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It’s a gift.”

The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home, he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected.

The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel… “We will start the bidding with this picture of the son…who will bid for this picture?”

There was silence.

Then, a voice in the back of the room shouted, “We want to see the famous paintings…skip this one.”

But the auctioneer persisted,”Will somebody bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding..$100, $200?”

Another voice angrily shouted, “We didn’t come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts…get on with the real bids!”

But still the auctioneer continued: “The son! The son…who’ll bid on  the son?”

Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. “I’ll give $10 for the painting.”  Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.

“We have $10, who will bid $20?”

“Give it to him for $10. Let’s see the masters.”

“$10 is the bid, won’t someone bid $20?”

The crowd was becoming angry and  did not want the picture of the son.

They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.

The auctioneer pounded the gavel. “Going once, twice… SOLD for $10!”

A man sitting on the second row shouted, “Now let’s get on with the  auction and the other art in the collection!”

The auctioneer laid down his gavel and stated, “I’m sorry, but the auction is over.”

“What about the paintings?”

“When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time and the son was sold.  Only the painting of the son would be auctioned and whoever bought that painting would inherit the man’s entire estate, including the paintings!

The man who bought the son gets everything!”

God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the auctioneer, His message today is: “The son, the son, who’ll take the son?”

Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.

FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE…THAT’S LOVE!

Source: Irza Puncia

From New York City, on a cold day in December, some years ago, A little boy, about 10-years-old, was standing before a shoe store on the roadway, barefooted, peering through the window, and shivering with cold.

A lady approached the young boy and said, ‘My, but you’re in such deep thought staring in that window!’

‘I was asking God to give me a pair of shoes,’was the boy’s reply.

The lady took him by the hand, went into the store, and asked the clerk to get half a dozen pairs of socks for the boy. She then asked if he could give her a basin of water and a towel. He quickly brought them to her.

She took the little fellow to the back part of the store and, removing her gloves, knelt down, washed his little feet, and dried them with the towel.  By this time, the clerk had returned with the socks. Placing a pair upon the boy’s feet, she purchased him a pair of shoes. She tied up the remaining pairs of socks and gave them to him.. She patted him on the head and said, ‘No doubt, you will be more comfortable now.’

As she turned to go, the astonished kid caught her by the hand, and looking up into her face, with tears in his eyes, asked her.  ‘Are you God’s wife?’

Our God is merciful and tender.
He will guide our steps
into the path of peace.

Luke 1:78-79

On Christmas eve, during the
Franco-Prussian War in 1870,
French soldiers and German
soldiers faced each other in
trenches, a short distance apart.

Suddenly, a French soldier stood
on top of the mound of dirt and
began singing “O Holy Night.”
Not a shot was fired.

When the French soldier ended,
a German soldier did the same,
singing “From Heaven to Earth
Come.” Not a soldier present that
Christmas ever forgot the event.

What lesson might that event
hold me? For our world?

Someday people will want peace
so badly that governments had
better get out of their way and let
them have it.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

Author: Mark Link SJ


June 2017
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